Family Over Ministry

family

This is a second post in a series of reflections based on Jared Wilson’s book “The Pastor’s Justification.”


Pastor’s kids are notorious for rejecting the tenets of Christianity. Although pastors are not always at blame for this phenomenon, we need to consider the role we have played.

The truth is many pastors sacrifice their families on the altar of ministry and then wonder why their children hate the church!

Sure, we dress it up in religious language but the core reason is idolatry. We have found our identity in our ministry activity rather than the finished work of the cross. This has forced us to perform for the masses in an effort to receive our justification from the applause of our congregants rather than the affirmation of the Father.

Many pastors miss the entirety of their son’s or daughter’s childhood because they spent the majority of their time in church meetings. This has been the failure of pastors throughout history – some even placed their kids in orphanages so that they wouldn’t be a distraction from the ministry!

This is what Jared Wilson has to add to this conversation:
“One cannot even be allowed to pastor a church if he cannot or will not pastor his family.”

Here’s the truth: Your church can have a multitude of pastors but your kids only get one dad and your wife gets one husband. WHY THE HECK do we throw away our families pursuing the idol of ministry “success”?!

Why does the church become a mistress that our families must compete with?

God has gifted Ashley & I with a beautiful daughter named Ava – she is currently a little older than 6 months old. When she was born I made a commitment before God and my wife: If ministry ever causes my family to love Jesus or the church less I will walk away completely.

I really mean it.

I have arranged my schedule so that I am home virtually every evening during the week so that I do not miss out on Ava’s childhood. I work 6 days a week and take Tuesdays off to be with my family. I intentionally work a full day on Saturdays and use these days to meet with people for counseling, discipleship, and meetings. I once did all of these things in the evenings but now my schedule has been freed up to engage my family rather than burn myself out through nightly meetings!

This is a problem for more than just pastors – it is a symptom of the toxic busyness evangelicals embrace without discernment.

Here’s my question for you today: Are you sacrificing your family on the altar of work? success? promotions? income? church? ministry?

Be honest.

What practical changes do YOU need make to your schedule to love, serve, support, and prioritize your family above every other human relationship and endeavor?

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